Listening to children in family separation: the role of Child Inclusive Mediation

When parents separate, decisions about children are often made with good intentions but frequently without hearing directly from the children themselves. Child Inclusive Mediation offers a structured and sensitive way for children’s views to be considered in family arrangements. It enables children, where appropriate, to speak with a specially trained mediator so that their experiences and wishes can be understood and fed back in a safe, confidential, and carefully managed way.

Importantly, children are not asked to choose between parents or make decisions about where they should live or how time should be divided. The process is not about gathering evidence for court or discussion in open correspondence. Instead, it is designed to help parents and professionals make better-informed, child-focused decisions. 

There is increasing recognition that children should have a meaningful opportunity to be heard in matters that affect them. Article 12 of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child recognises that children who are capable of forming views have the right to express those views freely. The Family Procedure Rules Practice Direction 12B also emphasises that children should be involved, where appropriate, in decisions about their arrangements, including outside court processes. 

Before any meeting with a child takes place, the mediator will usually meet with each parent separately, consider safeguarding and suitability issues, and ensure that both parents understand the purpose and limits of the process. 

The child is then given a safe and neutral space to talk about their experiences and views. Participation is voluntary, and the child has control over what, if anything, is fed back to their parents, subject to safeguarding exceptions, and any feedback is carefully managed. It is usually given verbally, and only the information that the child has agreed can be shared is communicated. This helps balance the child’s right to be heard with the need to avoid placing them under pressure or in the middle of parental conflict. 

Solicitors have an important role in helping parents understand when Child Inclusive Mediation may be appropriate. This includes explaining the child’s right to be heard, the potential benefits of the process, and how it may assist parents in reaching practical and child-focused arrangements. 

Child Inclusive Mediation does not replace legal advice. Instead, it can complement solicitor-led negotiations by providing further insight into the child’s experience. Used appropriately, Child Inclusive Mediation can support a more collaborative and child-focused approach to resolving family issues. It may help parents better understand their child’s perspective, reduce conflict, and reach arrangements that are more practical and sustainable in the long term.